Vicky & The Evil Sorcerer: Part 1

Characters

PETER - the evil sorcerer. Vicky - the fair maiden and the hero of this story. Sophie - her friend. Assorted Royal Guards and Villagers. A jailer - the fool of this tale.

Act I, Scene I

A castle is seen in the background. Rolling hills and a sunny, blue clouded sky. In the foreground, there is a gorgeous drop-dead princess, Princess Vicky II. She is talking to a Royal Guard.

Vicky: Why can’t I, sir guard? I WANT TO DO IT!

Royal Guard: I am truly sorry my lady, but you can not. Your parent’s orders.

Vicky, growing mad: I CAN!

Vicky storms away, the Royal Guard following her. Another man, Evil sorcerer Peter steps in.

Peter, cackling: So she wants to leave? I’ll send her away, to a place she won’t soon forget. And her parents too. Then I can rule this kingdom. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

A villager walks by with a puzzled expression on his face.

Peter, faking a cough: Sore throat. Throat warm ups, you know.

He leaves, chuckling merrily at the idea.

Act I, Scene II

Princess Vicky’s room. A large four poster bed is in one corner, and in the other, is a large bookshelf with oodles of books. Their is a majestic Persian rug on the floor. Vicky is laying on her bed, texting her BFF, Sophie. The door is open just a crack.

Vicky (to Sophie): It’s not fair. Just because I am a princess I have to stay here. :(

Sophie (mystery voice, from cell): That is way 2 bad. I guess u can’t go to the Rocking Hotties Best Of The Boys Concert! Double :(

Vicky: I know right. It is so unfair.

Sophie: U could always sneak out ;)

The door creaks open.

Vicky: The door just opened. Give me a moment.

Sophie: Ok. :)

Vicky moves over to the door. Peter enters the room. Vicky gasps.

Vicky: YOU!

Peter: Yes, it is me. The Sorcerer Peter! Bwah ha ha ha -

Vicky: You mean the EVIL sorcerer Peter, you mean.

Peter: Yes, whatever.

Vicky runs to the bed. She grabs her phone and desperately types at the phone.

Vicky: SAV! Your going to have to help me! ESP has gotten in. SOS!

She sends it as Mr. Peter grabs the phone and chants a little spell. The phone crumbles into dust.

Peter: Afraid no prince can save you, my darlin’. Your mine. All mine. Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! Throat pain.

Vicky, feigning a faint: You - you - you COW!

Peter: That isn’t very nice calling me a cow. I have glandular problems.

He stabs her with a needle, injecting a clear liquid. Vicky faints. He drags her out.

Act I, Scene III

A dark, deep dungeon. The small pest animals like rats and mice, are besides the stone walls and floors are the dominant feature. Water drips in one corner. In another, there is an iron maiden. In the third, a chair, and in the fourth, a stand with the bible on it. In the middle of the room is an operating table. There is a body-like shape under a cloth on the table.

Evil sorcerer Peter enters. He moves over to the TABLE and chants an incantation.

Peter: Gods of heaven, gods of hell. Always watching, always thinking. Make the one that I shall have rise in true, eternal love to match our new ETERNAL Life.

A lightning flash and a clap of thunder materializes. Under the sheet, something starts to move. A melodic groan is heard from under the sheets.

Peter: She lives! She lives!

He throws the sheet off to reveal Vicky, struggling under the sheets.

Peter: What are you doing?

Vicky (sarcastically): Trying to escape.

Peter: Why?

Vicky: You’re here.

She giggles as Mr. Peter rolls his eyes and groans.

Peter: But why, my dear? I am your true love.

Vicky: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA!

Peter: I mean it.

Vicky, looking to the side and back again: Is this guy for real?

Peter: Yes. You’re supposed to be deeply in love with me, marry me and live with me for all eternity in heavenly happiness!

Vicky: Are you sure? That sounds more like the deepest pit of hell.

Peter frowns. Vicky attempts to take off the ropes holding her down onto the table.

Peter, smacking his head: Of course. You have to kiss me for the spell to work. What was I thinking? It’s right on page 1 of Love Spells For Smart People.

Vicky: Two things. One: I am not going to kiss you. And two, I think you mean Morons. Love Spells For Morons.

Peter: To your questions, you are going to kiss me, and second, it’s for Smart People.

Vicky: Talk about buying the wrong thing.

Peter: No matter, we shall soon be wed in heavenly matrimony.

Vicky: I have said it before, and I will say it again. That sounds like hell.

Peter moves closer, his cracked lips getting ever closer to her beautiful, perfect lips. As they are about to embrace, Vicky smacks him.

Peter: OW! %^#$#^$%e. How did you get your hands free?

Vicky: Nail file. Never leave home without my Jennifer Nail & Style Compact Filer.

She jumps up from the table, knocking Peter down.

Peter: Ow. Get back here. You HAVE to marry me. I say so!

Vicky: When you become 250 pounds call me. Then I can have the pleasure of saying no again.

Peter: Ha. I have a gland problem!

Vicky: Sorry. But still, NO. No no no - a thousand times no.

Peter: Witches watching, goblins prancing, hear my call and bid me. Make the one they call Vicky II fall in love with me. Me, ME, ME!! Vampires stirring, demons a’ waiting, make Vicky come back into my arms. MY, MY, ARMS!

Vicky: Sorry. Try again later.

She screams as a huge gale pushes her back into the arms of Peter.

Vicky: Wasn’t expecting that.

Peter: It works! It works! Thank you, Summoning For Geniuses!

Vicky: I still say you need the Morons series. Who publishes these books anyways?

Peter: BeWitching Press, a division of Possessed Penguin.

Vicky: That figures.

Peter: BUT I DON’T NEED For Morons

Vicky: Ok, ok. Then you need for Ingora Doofuses.

Peter: I give up.

Peter leads Vicky to the altar as she tries to escape.

Peter: Demons of the otherworld. Bring up the preacher that will bind us for all time!

Vicky: Demons, don’t you dare! You don’t want to upset me. You’ll have the wrath of my goddess, Aphrodite to deal with.

Peter: God, you still use those gods? You’re old.

Vicky: She’s the god of beauty. I would say that you could use her blessing.

Peter: If I was a girl, I would find that highly offensive. Luckily, I’m not.

Vicky: Yes, lucky me. (Sigh)

Peter: Be cheerful, my dear. Soon we’ll be together for all time, deary.

Vicky: I am not your ‘deary’, and that still sounds like hell.

Peter: Iy yi yi.

Act I, Scene IV

A ghostly altar, complete with a bible stands in the corner. A thick layer of dust covers everything. Vicky and Peter stand before the altar.

Peter manages to drag Vicky to the altar, where he casts another spell. Their clothes magically change to wedding clothes (a very gothic dress/tuxedo respectively).

Vicky, looking down at herself: What am I in?

Peter: A gorgeous Evil Queen Wedding Dress, as seen in the classic Otherworld movie Ghost Wedding.

Vicky: I would rather wear chains.

Peter: I could arrange that.

Vicky: No, no, no. I’m fine. Especially if you let me go.

Peter: Not happening.

A large wail is heard. A ghostly preacher rises from the ground and looks at them.

Ghostly Preacher: Do you, Mr. Peter take Princess Vicky II to be your lawfully wedded bride?

Peter: Which laws?

G. Preacher: Otherworld Law #23 concerning mortal marriages

Peter: Yes.

G. Preacher: And do you, Princess Vicky II take Mr. Peter to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Vicky: Let me think. Hmmm..

G. Preacher: We don’t have all day. Hums a bit.

Peter: Yes she does.

G. Preacher: I have to hear it from her lips unfortunately

Vicky: No.

G. Preacher (to Peter): Can’t do much if she won’t agree.

Peter: Ghostly wails, devil howls. Make Vicky be binded to my will. I say one, she says one, I say three, she says three. Darkest hours, witches frights, see my heart as black as night and obey my words.

The room goes black, flickers and returns. A ghostly wail is heard, emerging from the throat of everyone.

G. Preacher: Do you, Vicky, take Peter to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Vicky: Let me think.

G. Preacher: Quickly! The Ghost Bowl XXI starts in ten minutes.

Vicky: No. I will not marry this bastard.

Peter: Yes you will.

Vicky, in a tranced voice: Yes, I will.

G. Preacher: Good. If no one has any objections, I will now pronounce you man and wife.

Oh dear! Things are not looking good for Vicky! What will happen next? Read VICKY VS PETER part 2 (Act I, Scene V - Act II, Scene II) to find out next time on VickyTales.

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