Vicky Vs The Evil Sorcerer Part 2: Score One For The Fat One!

Act I, Scene V

The same.

Voice: I do!

A girl storms into the room.

Sophie: I do!

Peter: Who is this?

Vicky: Sophie! How did you find me?

Sophie: Tell you later, girlfriend. First we have to defeat these baddies.

G. Preacher: Two girls. They’re multiplying!

Peter, to preacher: You fool! They’re not multiplying. It’s two of them. Use your powers, for evilness sakes.

G. Preacher: No thanks. The Ghost Bowl XXI is on! Bye!

The Ghostly Preacher sinks into the floor, gone.

Peter: Just great. Two girls and no where to go.

Vicky: Yes, you can go to jail

Sophie: Or maybe the looney bin.

They look at each other.

Vicky & Sophie: Nah. You’ll go to Jail for the Mentally Deranged. Then hell.

Peter: No. I am immortal, like you Vicky. We must live together forever. With my third eye, I have foreseen it.

Vicky: May I recommend a good optometrist? Because IT IS NOT HAPPENING!!!!

Sophie throws her cellphone at Peter. There is no effect.

Peter: Foolish mortal! You think you can defeat me, the great Peter?

Sophie: The greatly egotist Peter you mean? Yes, we can.

Peter: You sound like Bob The Builder.

Vicky: And you’re still a Ignora Doofus.

Sophie scrambles to pick up phone. She grabs it as Peter’s attention is caught by Vicky, still chatting about what he was.

Peter: I am not a ignora doofus.

Vicky: Yes you are. But that’s not all. You’re also a moron, doofus, ignorant sleaze bag, cuckoo bird, wacky world resident.

Peter: Name calling! That’s not fair.

Vicky: All’s fair in love and war, doofus.

Sophie: Hey, Peter. Look at this!

Peter looks at Sophie. She snaps a picture and the flash blinds him.

Sophie: Smile! You’re on candid camera!

Peter: My eyes!

Vicky, sarcastically: It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

Peter falls, and Sophie and Vicky tie him up with the sheet from the table.

Curtain falls.

Act II, Scene I

The castle jail. Mr. Peter is sitting in a jail cell on a bench. A sleeping jailer sits in a chair leaning against the wall.

Peter: This place is not fitting for me. I need to roam the dark and the damp, the creepy and the depressing places of the Earth -

Vicky, as she walks in: So this dungeon is perfect. Dark, damp, creepy and depressing. Yay!

Peter: Ha ha

Vicky: Get used to it, buster. You’ll be spending a long time here.

Peter: Says who? I’ll escape when the powers of the demon grow strong.

Vicky: Did I mention that this cell is 100% magic proof? Courtesy of the good witch of the west.

Peter, motioning to an empty plate with gravy stains on it: Shucks. Oh well, you have good food here at least.

Vicky: Oh, that. That will be ending. You’re going into the uber-secure jail cell. With no food.

Peter: Are you trying to kill me?

Vicky, sarcastically: Oh darn. You figured me out. Anyways, see you never. But remember, I will always get you.

Vicky giggles as she leaves.

Act II, Scene II

A vivid land of bright colours. A jailer is dressed in fine robes and a crown. He has many fine jewels on his bodice, and there are ladies waving peacock feathers at him, in an attempt to ‘cool’ him. He is relaxing on a long couch, with another girl feeding him grapes.

Jailer: This is the life

Suddenly Peter appears.

Peter: My fine man. This could all be yours.

Jailer: You mean this isn’t mine?

Peter: Sadly, no. But it could be! And quite easily, too!

Jailer, suspiciously: How?

Peter: Just let me out of my cell

Jailer: But the princess said to never

Peter: She’s holding you back. You should be king, not her good for nothing father.

Jailer: You’re right. I should be.

Peter: Good. Now, I’m going to let this dream go. Release me and you will get all this. Forever.

The scene fades.

Act II, Scene III

The jailer is in his chair, awake. Peter is lounging in the cell, knowing what was going to happen. He was smiling.

Jailer: That was a magnificent dream.

The Jailer gets out of his chair and moves over to the cell, opening the door. Peter jumps out.

Peter: Thank you, my good man.

Jailer: Can I have the kingdom now?

Peter: You can have something even better!

Jailer, excited: What?

Peter: A quick death! Mwah ha ha ha ha!!

Peter waves his hands and the jailer falls to the floor, gasping. In seconds, he stops moving. Peter kicks him.

Peter: Foolish, yet useful mortal. Obviously this was his purpose on Earth.

Peter vanishes.

Act III, Scene I

Ten Years Later. Peter is relaxing in a library, reading When Things Don’t Quite Go Your Way For Uber Smart People. He is also sipping a dark liquid from a fine china cup.

Vicky, suddenly appearing: Still reading the wrong books, hey, Peter?

Peter: What are you doing here?

Vicky: Don’t interupt. I’m Queen now. What are you? The bookworm fool?

Peter: You little thing. But back to my point. What are you doing here, in my domain?

Vicky: I said I would always get you. And now it’s time.

Peter: No! You wouldn’t. Not a sweet little girl like you!

Vicky’s eyes turn ice cold and she stares at him. She pulls a small vial from her cloak.

Vicky: I would.

Peter: So what is that? Coloured water?

Vicky: No.

Peter: So what is it? Let me guess! It will make me happier, but won’t really work.

Vicky: No. It is Tears of Dragons mixed with the milk of a poppy.

Peter: So?

Vicky: Kept warm by a chicken for 3 days before being blessed by a monk who has kept a vow of silence for twelve years.

Peter: No…. it can’t be.

Vicky: So you know what it does?

Peter, scrambling to get away: Yes. It will make someone disappear into the Otherworld for all eternity.

Vicky, sarcastically: Score one for the fat one.

Vicky, throwing the vial at him: This is payback.

Peter, as he disappears: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Curtain. The end.

#peter #vicky #sophie #plays