Professor Vicky's History: How Dusty Gulph Was Won (1799)

Fact: The town of Gusty Gulph did infact exist. Like many other Wild West era towns, it had only a limited degree of law and order. Sherrifs, if there was one, could come and go fairly quickly - by horse, legs or coffin. Duels, too, were an acceptable way to settle arguments.

She swung the door to the bar open. Jennifer "Jenn" S. Coal wanted a drink - gingerale with ice - and she wanted it now. She had just ridden in from the dusty desert, and in the first town for 200 miles any way, she felt the parch of her throat.

The townspeople abandoned their cards and drinks and watched her, in rapt interest as she strolled to the bar, put down a $5 and asked the bartender for drinks for all her friends.

The bar exploded with happiness, at least until she annouced "Gingerale with ice". There was a smattering of applause from the Mothers Against Drunk Riding but other than that the bar was silent. Who wanted gingerale, when there were more intoxicating drinks to be had? Still it was free, so they drank up.

Suddenly, as Jenn was taking her first swig, the door to the bar swung open. In stalked a tall man, dark clothing contrasting from the light outside. He had a large mostache, and a mean smile. He spat into a spitton and strode over to Jenn. "You're in my seat" he hissed in her ear, allowing some spittle to fly.

Jenn looked at him cooly. "I don't know your name, stranger, but let me tell you. Find a new chair. I was here first."

The man scowled, his eyebrows drawing thin and took out his gun. He put it on the table and said "Big Bessie says it's my chair." Jenn's expression didn't change.

"They'll all the same." The man hissed and looked at her.

"Noon today. Main street." He hissed as he stood up to leave. When he was about 50 feet away, Jenn turned and looked at him.

"Why wait?" she said, as the townspeople ducked for cover. "Let's settle this the old fashioned way." The tall stranger turned and grinned a horrible smile.

"Deal." he said, spitting on his hand. Jenn quickly shook, then applied liberal amounts of hand sanitizer.

"My name's Jenn" she said. "What's yours?"

The stranger smiled. "My name is Ted Bones, Scourage of Dusty Gulph and not a very nice guy. And this is my town."

Jenn smiled. "Ok. Let's have an old fashioned Old West Dance Duel." Jenn looked surprised and then smiled. He had a deal.

He started dancing, jumping up on the table, tapping his boots around the bar, on a table, knocking down a glass of gingerale onto a baby, who started crying. Some men by the bar started playing drums with their hands and the bench, and the player on the piano started playing some dark, dramatic music.

Jenn smiled as he finished, his whole performance over in less than two minutes. "Good job, partner."

Mr. Bones smiled. "You can't do any better." Jenn made no comment, instead moving over to the piano player and wispering something into his ear.

Then as the man started to play an uplifting pop style song, never before head in Dusty Gulph, she started tapping to the music, dancing using her whole body.

She danced through the bar, clapping her whole way through as she executed spins, double taps and spectacular jumps. Slowly, she was picking up people as they started to tap their feet to the rhythm and clap along.

Mr. Bones looked on in shock as she started dancing on the bar, missing every single drink as she continued her dance. She danced for minutes, never slowing down, never missing a beat. His jaw fell down as she executed a perfect double spin jump, landing on another table from the bar - the one with the crying baby - and tapped it back to sleep, a smile on it's small face.

When she was finally done, the whole bar - including Mr. Bones, who was clapping in spite of himself - was clapping and tapping as she bowed infront of Mr. Bones, scourage of the earth.

Mr. Bones finally, after many minutes of silence, spoke up. "Can you show me?" Jenn smiled.

The music started playing and together they danced the night away, clapping and tapping as the bar audience watched, clapped along, went away, tapped along, new people came in and the night grew old.

And from that day on, Dusty Gulph had no Scourage. It had only had a Dancing Extrodinare, in the name of Ted Bones.

The End.

#ted #jenn #profvicky