The Troll's Bridge

This story happened not to long ago. There were 2 meadows in the otherwise unusuable - for farming and picnics anyways - in the small area of Wateria. The only thing connecting the two meadows was a long wooden bridge that ran over the raging river seperating them.

One day, the 3 Girls Sweet, whose names were Vicky, Sophie and Collette wanted to cross to the meadow opposite, which was the picnic/fun meadow from their home in the village just outside of the other meadow. So like any reasonable person who valued their designer shoes, they crossed the bridge, one at a time.

This would have been fine, if not for the Great Grumpy Troll Ted. He lived under the bridge, and ate fish, though his favorite meal was by far something non-aquatic. But he couldn't catch them, unless of course, they walked on what he thought of as his bridge (though it wasn't - it was owned by the community).

Vicky, the youngest went first. As she got to the middle, tapping on the planks, the troll, who was six and a half feet tall and very craggly and bad looking - not to mention, as the villagers often did, his herocious smell. "Who is this crossing on my bridge?" he asked in his deep, cunning, and very bad breathed voice of his.

"It is I, little Vicky Sweet." Vicky was terrified, but tried not to let it show. That way, just maybe, the evil grumpy grump would let her pass.

The troll next asked this: "I'm going to eat you!"

"That's not a question, it's a rhetorical question" Vicky replied quickly, thinking on her feet. "But why me? I have much bigger sisters coming after me." She smiled her sweetest sickenly sweet smile and the troll frowned.

He wanted to eat her, but a bigger sister? Yummy. So he let her go and hid under the bridge. Sure enough, soon after, the second sister, Sophie, came by. She knocked the bridge as she crossed, and the troll jumped onto the bridge.

"Who is this crossing on my bridge?" he asked Sophie. Sophie looked at him.

"It is I, Sophie Sweet" she replied nonchalantly. The troll frowned.

"I'm going to EAT you!" he questioned her.

"That's not a question" Sophie sternly lectured him, "That is a rhetorical question, and not very nice." The troll shook his head. Girls these days. They didn't scream, they told you about problems with your grammer. Sheesh.

"But why me?" Sophie finished. "I have a much bigger sister coming after me." The troll grinned. Bigger sister. Bigger meal. Less yucky fish and plankton he would have to consume. Good deal.

So he let her pass, and shortly after, the third Sweet sister came onto the bridge, bouncing her way down the bridge to the other side. But the Troll once again jumped out and asked her his signature question.

"Who is this crossing on my bridge?" he asked the third sister.

"It is I, Colette Sweet." she said in a sing-song tone which annoyed the troll and hurt his ears.

"I'm going to eat you!" The troll quickly asked her.

"That's not a question..." Colette began, but the troll cut her off.

"I know, I know. It's a rhe-tor-ical-qu-es-ti-on" he said, slowly pronouncing the last two words.

"That's even worse" Colette lectured, shocked. "You know that, and yet you do not work to fix your behavoir? Shame on you." The troll closed his eyes and put his eyes over them. Girls. You couldn't understand them - or at least, he couldn't.

"And as you have no sisters" the troll said after his quick break, "I shall eat you."

"Shall you? Colette asked in a not believing way.

"Yes" the Troll said, coming closer to her, arms outreached.

"I don't think so" Colette said, before breaking into a loud pitched, high volume song about 1 million bottles of fruit juice on the wall.

1 million bottles of fruit juice on the wall

Take one down, pass it around.

999,999 bottles of fruit juice on the wall.

Take one down, pass it around....

The troll's eyes grew wide as she continued singing, down to 999,992 now. "Stop it!" he screamed in pain. "Stop the song! I can't take it! That's worse than, well anything!"

But Colette kept singing until the Troll got down on his knees and promised - pinky swear - that he would go far far away and stop eating people. Colette smiled, shook hands and whispered into his ear. "999,964 bottles of fruit juice on the wall." The troll took off screaming into the next contenent, where he ate a lot of fish. And plankton.

The End.

#ted #sophie #vicky #colette